The boy who lived
I woke up on the middle of a field after I blacked out.
At 5 Am I went out and took a random cab, two blocks away another guy got in, put a cap on my head and a gun to it. They were supposedly looking for a gang member that messed with his girlfriend. When they realized I wasn’t the target they left me in the middle of a field with just my ID in my pocket.
I woke up after some time, I knew what just happened: I survived. Then I realized I had a second opportunity to live.
It was dark, empty, almost at dawn. I saw a line of threes at the edge of the field. No sounds, no people, nothing around. I saw small lights at a distance, so I walked in that direction until I hit a small town. From there I tried the highway, but it was too early, no one stops in a mountain road in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing out there.
Scared. Numb. And somewhere beneath that, a small sense of clarity. I was safe. I wasn’t hurt. Nothing else mattered in that moment.
Then one thought: “I better make the most out of this”.
I walked 30 minutes to the nearest town. Waited for an hour to find a cab in the middle of the road. Once I got home and started working again, I didn’t feel clarity right away, I was in shock, trying to process what just happened. The thought stayed anyway. It didn’t need my approval, it was just there It took some weeks to stabilize.
One month after this incident I got offered a job in the middle east. More details on this letter and on the next one why I came back after 6 months.
You don’t have to wait for something like that to happen to you.
Your amygdala doesn’t wait for permission either. It flags something as a thread, then it sends signals to your senses, pushing that information ahead of everything else your brain is processing. This happens without our conscious awareness. That’s the same wiring that decided, in that empty field, that staying alive mattered more than any plan I had.
Survival doesn’t get filed as an idea. It gets filed as an instruction.
In that moment I did what I could to show them I was not their target. Told them my name, asked them to check my ID and explained I was on a family trip. Once they realized, I blacked out. But I survived.
The same mechanism I write about in Subconscious Letters. But on a different dose. Repetition is the right tool because most days give you no reason to take the signal seriously.
I didn’t have an option when my brain decided to take me seriously. You do, but you haven’t used it yet.
I wasn’t thinking straight that week, I mentioned it already. Shock, not mental clarity. But the thought stayed anyway. I better make the most out of it didn’t wait for me to feel ready or figure anything first. It just took over.
That’s the part most get backwards. They think conviction shows up after the plan is ready and the thinking is clear. In my case it showed up while I was the worst mental and physical position I’d been in my life. It didn’t need my permission and it didn’t wait for my head to catch up.
You’re probably waiting for clarity before you commit to that project, that new client, or even learning something new. Stop procrastinating. The clarity might not come first. It might not come at all before you act. It came for me after, weeks later, once the decision had already made itself.
PD: Thank you for reading this. Its the most personal one I’ve sent out. I’m doing reprogramming audios for my readers, if you are interested answer this post or email me to start, Its a free one made with your own voice.
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Stay safe,
S. M. Brain Coach
Harrowing description, and powerful lesson. Thank you for sharing this so vulnerably with us.